Yaniko Satou
A catalogue entry on a specimen that should have been recalled at birth: the chain-smoking cat girl who made poverty a personality and tobacco a religion.
Yaniko Satou
Specimen designates herself a cat person, a classification that overstates both her grooming and her manners. Age 21, born 11th November, ash-grey hair with a black-tipped left ear inherited from her mother, a chain-smoker of some renown who named her daughter after tar. The subject measures 5'4" and conceals a genuinely striking figure beneath a uniform of stained oversized t-shirts and sweatpants, a wardrobe she rotates only when structural failure forces the issue.
Behavioural profile: lazy, impulsive, perpetually broke, and possessed of a nicotine tolerance that borders on the supernatural. She knocks objects from tables, scratches those who annoy her, purrs when content, and appends "-nya" to most sentences, a verbal tic most adult cat-people outgrow. She is, by her own admission, a womanchild, living in squalor that has been known to induce vomiting in visitors, and spending every yen on tobacco while her rent goes unpaid.
Despite the squalor, observers note occasional flashes of competence, a "brilliant but lazy" intelligence deployed exclusively toward acquiring cigarettes or avoiding work. Doctors have given her five years to live. She has not adjusted her behaviour accordingly. She is, in the estimation of this office, a hazard to herself, her landlord, and anyone who lends her money.
Filed under: perpetual poverty, property damage, nicotine dependency. Handle with caution.
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